Dealing with Negative People

At every age, in every environment, there are going to be people who want to put you down. You could be the strongest person, but still get discouraged when others, especially those you care about or look up to, try to minimize your accomplishments or block potential successes. You are motivated to succeed but can’t pretend it doesn’t make you rethink your plans when others tell you that your chance of failure is high.

Identify your villains

The first step to keeping yourself motivated is figuring out who is giving you genuine advice, even if it’s what you don’t want to hear, and who the toxic people are in your life.

Here’s how you know if someone is toxic:

• You feel worse after talking to them
• You worry about seeing them
• You blame them for how your feel or behave
• You find yourself talking badly about them
• You act defensive around them or when others bring them up
• You sense or know that they are acting against your best interests

Some toxic people are hard to cut, especially if they are a close friend, relative or coworker, but you can take steps to lessen their presence in your life. Avoid talking to them about your thoughts, feelings, or opinions and only discuss facts that they cannot argue against. This will help you lessen their opportunities to attack.

Defend yourself

When you’re forced to deal with or confront bullies, make sure you’re fully equipped to keep yourself on solid ground. The best self-defense is preparation!

Defend yourself by preparing emotionally. Know what tactics the bully or toxic person will try to use against you based on past experiences. Give yourself a little pep talk so you’re ready to hear their words, but not let them upset you, keeping in mind that they are meant to hurt you and not based on truth or reality.

Use knowledge to defend yourself too. The more you know about the goal you’re chasing and how to get there, the less ammo your bully has to convince you you won’t be able to achieve it.

With the proper emotional and knowledge-based armour, you’ll be set to stand strong!

Keep yourself going

When you’re feeling like a person, the odds, or the world is against you, remember that you are the only person who can make you happy! It’s important to find encouraging supporters to help you, but sometimes you need to use your independent spirit to push yourself through the hardest parts of getting to your end goal.

You’re entitled to the pursuit of happiness so even if your dreams are on the far end of your reach, you owe it to yourself to try attaining them!

Take action

Taking action is crucial! This is exemplified by one of the lessons in the ICS Canada Counselling Skills program which strives to make individuals “challenge themselves” by;

• Saying what they want, reviewing alternative scenarios, critiquing them, developing goals, and committing themselves to reasonable agendas
• Searching for ways of getting what they want even in the face of obstacles
• Persevering in the implementation of these plans when they are tempted to give up

Remember that you are your biggest, if not only, advocate! Your future is in YOUR hands. If others have you feeling down, it’s up to you and only you to make a change! That being said, ICS Canada can help you prepare. Call 1-800-275-2400 to learn more from one of our admissions experts, and find details about ICS Canada on our website. If you’re currently enrolled, check out our career services and get started on your path!